[ I AM A KILLER ]
CHAPTER 19 ♦ HER DREAM OF KILLING, AND OF HIM
last edited: 21.06.17
Qin Ke Xuan opened her eyes muddle-headedly. It was still dark outside. When she tried moving her body, a tearing pain seared through her shoulder. She struggled to get up and surveyed the surroundings. There were dead bodies of children all around. The large area was dyed in dark red blood, as though a bloody hell.
This scene was too familiar though; so familiar she almost thought she had walked out from there herself. She shook her dizzy head, making an effort to get up, and walked, staggeringly, towards the narrow exit in front. Even though the exit was just right in front, why did it seem as though she was walking further and further away from it? Even if she had finished off all the other children, was she not able to leave? No! She did not want to die here!
Qin Ke Xuan clenched her teeth tightly and exerted the last of her energy to bolt forward, but just a few steps out, her legs were weighed down. She looked down, and saw both her ankles being grabbed by two small hands.
She tried to kick away the hand of the kid who was probably still alive, “Let me go!” She wanted to go out! Go out!
The little kid’s strength was eerily large, no matter how she tried to kick them off, she could not escape from the clutches. The other children beside, as though they had revived, also stretched out their hands to pull, and grab on to her, not letting her go.
“I don’t want to die…”
“I want to go out…”
The twisted expressions of the children stared right at her, their murmuring continuing. She looked, powerlessly in fear, at the increasing number of children who were supposed to have died reviving and lunging at her. Beneath her, a black hole took shape, and she was being dragged down, sinking deeper. No matter how hard she tried to struggle, she could only watch herself helplessly being pulled slowly into the black hole, unable to extricate herself. The scene before her eyes slowly blurred and blackened out…
Qin Ke Xuan awoke, screaming, just as she was about to be completely submerged in the black hole. Her eyes wide open with fear, she panted heavily, reaching out to wipe away the cold sweat beading on her forehead.
“Xiao Ye, what’s wrong?” A low voice came from behind.
Xiao Ye… The only person who would call her that…
“You Ming?” Qin Ke Xuan turned around to look behind, unsure, but only saw an empty space. There was no one.
Her shoulder was suddenly hit, “I’m here!”
She turned back, and a familiar face appeared before her eyes, she asked in suspicion: “Why are you here?”
The sides of his lips lifted, revealing a large smile, “Because…”
(T/N: “噗” = “Phuu”; onomatopoeia for sound of escaping laughter)
Qin Ke Xuan lowered her head, only to see a knife protruding from her stomach, and the hands that had grabbed the knife handle belonged to the gentle guy in from of her. He was still smiling tenderly: “Because only when you die will I be able to live, so don’t blame me okay? Xiao Ye?”
And then he released the knife handle, and gently pushed her. Behind her, unbeknownst to her, had somehow become an overhanging cliff, and she, fell off the cliff, just like that. In that flash of a moment, she stared tightly into his eyes; they were full of his softness and gentleness of the past and nothing else.
She could not help but ridicule herself. They had all crawled out from the training abyss, why would anyone like that carry any hue of tenderness? She had been a killer all these years in vain, to actually be unable to see through his killing intent masked beneath his gentle façade!
She closed her eyes, letting herself fall down and down…
“Xuan Xuan? Wake up, sob sob, you can’t have died right? What am I going to do? Hurry wake up, Xuan Xuan!”
Someone was patting her face lightly, his voice choking with sobs. Qin Ke Xuan raised her hand, gripping his neck without failure, and her eyes opened slowly. She said coldly: “I said you’re not allowed to enter my bedroom.” Her fingers tightened.
Yin Xu Dong frowned, and both his hands went to unclasp Qin Ke Xuan’s grip while explaining with difficulty: “I… I was, calling you… on the balcony… but there was no sound… I, I was worried… so, so… I came in…”
“You’re seeking death.” Qin Ke Xuan’s chilly glint lingered in her eyes as her hand closed in.
Yin Xu Dong was throttled till his face paled and tried to pry open her hands, but they were too tight. Just when his life was hanging by a thread, his hands draped, unconsciously pressing down directly on Qin Ke Xuan’s injured shoulder.
Qin Ke Xuan’s shoulder stung in pain, and her hand fell down weakly. Yin Xu Dong upon having picked back his little life, collapsed on the ground, coughing non-stop as he cupped his neck, “Cough cough…”
“Xuan Xuan?” Suddenly Jiang Hui Lin’s voice sounded from outside the door, “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”
“It’s nothing.” Qin Ke Xuan clenched her teeth to force out these two words with effort.
“Need me to take a look?” Jiang Hui Lin continued asking in concern.
“Then you rest properly, remember to yell for me if there’s anything.” With that, Jiang Hui Lin’s footsteps faded.
Yin Xu Dong sitting on the ground saw Qin Ke Xuan pressing her shoulders. Her shirt was split open, and the white bandages were, because of the tearing of her wound, dyed red by the oozing blood. He froze, staring idiotically, and asked, “Xuan Xuan you’re hurt?”
Qin Ke Xuan’s glare was cold like daggers, “Get lost if you don’t want to die.”
Yin Xu Dong was so agitated he jumped up, and turned in circles from anxiety, “Bleeding, it’s the place where I accidentally pressed just now right? Sorry, Xuan Xuan, I didn’t know… Where’s the band-aid? Freaking hell! It’s bleeding so much, you need to go to the hospital! I’ll go call your dad!” He lapsed into a flurry to find Qin Shu Hua after saying that.
“Stop! Come back!”
Yin Xu Dong returned to her beside unwillingly, his face one of worry, “It’s better to go see a doctor right?”
“If you want to die, you can try walking one more step.” Qin Ke Xuan threatened him calmly.
Yin Xu Dong thought about the scene where he had been strangled just now and shut his mouth obediently. However, upon seeing Qin Ke Xuan’s small face becoming paler with the moment, he felt as though his heart was nibbled away at by countless ants, and felt extremely uncomfortable, yet he could not thwart her stubbornness. Hence, after much choking and stifling his worry, he suddenly stood up and rushed to the balcony, “Wait, I’m going to get some medicine from my house.”
Qin Ke Xuan waited for a while, and he rushed back like a gush of wind, a box in his hand, and opened the first-aid box, sitting down beside Qin Ke Xuan, and started looking for bandages and blood staunching medicine.
“You think I dare not kill you?”
Yin Xu Dong upon hearing that, raised his head to look at her. He broke into a smile after a while, before lowering his head back down to look for medicine, “You foolish girl, I’m your brother*, even if not biologically related. Why would you kill me?”
(T/N: he’s probably referencing to Chapter 11: Birth of a Sis-Con, where he introduced her to his friends as his little sister)
“I almost strangled you just now.” Qin Ke Xuan reminded kindly.
Yin Xu Dong laughed: “You said ‘almost’, but I’m still well and alive right now, right? Even though you’re a little fierce normally, and did do some scary stuff to me, but I know you’ll always stop in the end. Hehe, actually I do have quite the spot in your heart hehehe.” A certain someone started to discharge narcissism.
She sighed in her head, he was a complete fool who did not een know how to spell die. Even setting herself against him felt ridiculously idiotic!
“I found the medicine, Xuan Xuan, I’ll help you change your bandage.” Yin Xu Dong took out the bandage and medicine he found.
Qin Ke Xuan: “Put these down, you can go.”
“How will that do, you won’t be able to do this on your own, let me help you!”
“Don’t force me to throw you out.”
Yin Xu Dong yielded under her violent threats, and shifted to outside the balcony, “Call me if you need me!”
Qin Ke Xuan had been injured countless of times in her career as a killer, and there were loads of injuries that were way worse than this, yet was she not the one who had bandaged her wounds on her own? She tore open the bloodied bandages with practised ease, wiping on the medicine she had gotten from Xiang Jie, before quickly wrapping it back with new bandages. After she changed the clothes she had worn yesterday, she yelled: “Come in.”
Yin Xu Dong ran in happily, only to be beyond disappointed when he realised that Qin Ke Xuan had already finished settling everything and did not need his help. He had originally wanted to check whether her injury was serious or not, if it was, then he was ready to pull her to the hospital even if he was going to die.
Qin Ke Xuan pointed at the bandage and the sliced and bloodied shirt, saying: “Go burn these, make sure no one sees you.”
Yin Xu Dong found a bag and stuffed everything in, asking softly: “Xuan Xuan, what did you go and do? Why are you injured so badly?”
Qin Ke Xuan had originally wanted to say it was none of his business, but she suddenly sprung up, and replied coldly: “I went to kill people, why, are you interested as well?” Even though she had only killed a dog.
Upon seeing Qin Ke Xuan’s earnest expression, Yin Xu Dong was tied. Her injury so blatantly displayed she had exchanged fire with someone if he did not believe her, but it was really a little against his outlook of life, of the world, and of his morals if he did believe her. Hence he deliberated for a moment in all prudence before thumping his chest, vowing solemnly: “Xuan Xuan wouldn’t slaughter the innocent, even if she did really kill someone, then that would be completely entirely wholly be that person’s fault! You had no other choice but to kill that person! I believe you!”
The Qin Ke Xuan resting on her bed swept him a sideway glance, “Get me a cup of water and place it at the bedside, leave after that.” After talking, she laid down, pulled her blankets and went to rest.
Yin Xu Dong obediently poured her a cup of water, carried the stuff he needed to take care of with him, and crawled back to his place.
Because Qin Ke Xuan was shot during their mission, Wolf, Jackal and Leopard had all felt guilty, and so they urged her to stay at home to rest and resume her missions after her injury recovered. Qin Ke Xuan was glad about the outcome since she did not like doing the job of a thief anyway.
Hence, she was placed in left to recuperate on her own throughout the entire holiday. Meanwhile, Yin Xu Dong followed the training regime Qin Ke Xuan had drawn up for him dutifully, only going out to hang with his friends occasionally, and contributed the rest of his spare time to meticulously studying recipes, and even especially went to research about recipes that were able to help with enriching the blood. This event had brightened mother Yin’s eyes and enriched her colourful expressions. Afterwards when she learnt that he was researching these recipes were for Qin Ke Xuan’s sake, the looks she gave him, however, become all the more unusual. After having researched these recipes, he had also personally prepared them. Even though it did not taste very amazing, Qin Ke Xuan still, very generously, ingested everything, since they were prepared anyway, might as well eat everything rather than waste it, right?
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