CHAPTER 04.1 ♦ THE YOU WHO ALWAYS HAS HIM/HER IN YOUR THOUGHTS
last edited: 22.07.18
T/N: I’m going to add English TLs for all the usernames because it dawned on me how incorrigible pinyi can be to our non-chinese speaking friends; you can check who’s who in the glossary. As for the previous chaps… I’ll go back to edit it… later…
THIS TRANSLATION IS HOSTED AT ZHANLANN.COM
An Si Dong felt like there was a need to distance herself from Qu Wei En. ♢ ENDLESS LOVE, CHAPTER 04.1 is hosted at ZHAN LANN ♢
If he’d only been only making things ambiguous with his lack of public denial previously, then his recent actions in pursuing her were a little brazen in nature. She, of course, won’t be dense enough to think that he was only throwing the toy he won to her randomly because he didn’t like it.
This was hence the reason as to why she didn’t log onto the game recently. Seeing how she had to stay in school for the entire summer vacation, she should find something to do. In the second half of the year when school restarted after the holiday, she would need to decide if she was going to attend graduate school or go out to look for work after graduation. A lot of her classmates were going out for internships to amass some experience, and hence, she went into the employment page in BBS to flip through to check if there were any jobs she could take on to gain some experience.
In the end, she did find one that had a summer internship; it was a post-development internship for a 3D stand-alone game as the engine was already coded, and they were recruiting someone to write out the logical implementation section, the intern will need to be familiar with C/C++ programming, computer graphics and et cetera and passionate about gaming.
An Si Dong felt she fitted to their criteria well, and the job description didn’t look like it was too hard—it was more suited for purely theoretically-sound newbies like her. Developing a game was also quite interesting and novel. Even though the original poster (OP) said it was only based on pure interest and there was no pay, she still wrote out her resume briefly and sent it to the OP to apply.
Who knew that she would receive a reply immediately: “Wintermelon MM, we must be so fated to bump into each other even when I’m posting a recruitment post.” Z L T
She asked: “You are?” EL IS HOSTED @ ZHANLANN
“I’m You Can’t See Me.”
“You’re the person-in-charge for this project?” You Can’t See Me was from the School of Fine Arts. She didn’t know he was also good with programming and writing engines as well.
You Can’t See Me said: “No way, I don’t even know why there are two pluses in C++. I’m only here to help with the graphics.”
She had an unsettling feeling: “Then who wrote the code?” Z L T
You Can’t See Me replied with an eerie laugh as expected: “Hehe, it’s someone even MM you know. So far yet so near—your QWE.”
Eh… can she still back out of this now? Z L T
You Can’t See Me very quickly smashed her dreams however: “MM, I’ve already told QWE. He’ll be contacting you immediately. I don’t know much about the technical matters so you guys talk, this lightbulb I shall disappear.”
Before long, she received Qu Wei En’s message: “What a coincidence, didn’t think we’d recruit you.”
Yeah yeah, what a coincidence, so coincidental she wanted to cry a river of tears.
Honestly if she thought about it, someone who wrote their own engines during his spare time would definitely be from the computing major. Why was it that she didn’t consider the high probability that this person, passionate about gaming at that, would be Qu Wei En? T_T
Qu Wei En said: “I’ll send you the design document for you to see first. Since I was the only one doing it, it’s not very detailed, and it hasn’t been updated in a very long time. Are you free this afternoon? Bring your pc over to my dorm, I’ll explain it in detail for you and send you a copy of the original one.”
Go to his dorm again? She was a little hesitant. Z L T
He kind of figured what she was concerned about: “Lao Bi’s going to be in the dorm these days as well.”
If Lao Bi’s there then things won’t get that awkward. She sighed in relief and agreed.
Roughly looking through the document he sent her, she realised that there indeed was quite a few places she didn’t get. After lunch, she went over to the guys’ dorm with her pc. Qu Wei En was waiting downstairs like last time. Qu Wei En classmate seemed to be a little… glad to see her again after not seeing each other for the past several days.
“Isn’t Lao Bi busy with his GRE? He’s not going to the library?”
“He got dumped.” He carried her pc bag for her as he led the way. “He wanted to take the GRE to go abroad with that girl. Don’t mention this later when you see him.”
Sigh, you cannot help the inevitable一the sky raining, one’s mother remarrying, one’s crush cheating. All she could do was to bless her Lao Bi classmate.
The stink of alcohol engulfed her the moment she entered the room; there were bottles of beer strewn all over the place. Lao Bi was sitting in front of the computer playing CS, his hair—goodness knows when he last washed it—sat in a mess atop his head. She didn’t know from his eyes were red from staying up all through the night or crying from sadness; his face was pale—he looked like a skeleton that had just crawled out from the grave.
Qu Wei En frowned: “I just swept the place, why did you dump the rubbish on the ground again?” Z L T
An Si Dong tugged the ends of his shirt. People who’d just broken up were delicate, so he should be more patient with him.
Lao Bi didn’t even turn his head: “Wintermelon’s here? Hello.” He probably didn’t even know what he was talking now. His player kept being knocked down and flipped over in the game, his blood spewing while he was at it, and getting up to charge ahead headlessly; he was playing really badly.
Qu Wei En asked: “When was the last time you slept? Can gaming away solve your problem?” Z L T
Lao Bi replied with a poor tone: “You’re telling me that? In Year Two, you were…” Z L T
Qu Wei En cut him off: “Don’t take me as your comparison, I didn’t play as crappily as you.”♢ ENDLESS LOVE, CHAPTER 04.1 is hosted at ZHAN LANN ♢
“I’m stuffed,” Lao Bi’s voice was raw with emotions, “I just need to find something to do. I feel better, even if my head’s being busted in the game.”
A police flashed by through the crack of the door in the distance on the screen, and killed off Lao Bi’s bandit; the bandit’s blood splashed across the screen. Lao Bi then was respawned heroically, after which, he lifted his assault rifle and swept out a stream of bullets, killing off an innocent hen by the side into bloodied bits and pieces.
This CS game looks… very bloody and violent… she peeked at the certain person who’s said to have been the CS team leader previously.
Qu Wei En placed the laptop bag down to get her water. Only when he went did he realise the four bottles they had were all empty. “I’ll get some water, you take care of Wintermelon.”
She looked at Lao Bi, it seemed like he was the one who needed taking of right?
Qu Wei En brought the four large bottles downstairs to get water. The place to refill water was quite far from the dorms, so he probably would only be back after twenty or so minutes.
The moment his dormmate left, Lao Bi’s strong facade collapsed. He lied on his keyboard, crying his eyes out. An Si Dong tried to comfort him but he completely ignored her, so she could only get the tissue roll and tear out in portions to hand it to him.
“I started liking her since year three in high school, it’s been five years…” He blew his nose, “she didn’t do very well the first time she took finals so she had to retake them. I skipped on my entry into HIT* and retook finals with her…” He blew his nose again, “and when we finally finally got into the same university… honestly I’m not a fan of American Imperialism at all but she wanted to go abroad, so I desperately worked to get into G uni…” He continued blowing his nose, “I’ve always thought that she probably won’t like me as much as I liked her but at least she’d be touched by my sincerity… but who knew that she’d tell me she already had a boyfriend, and they were going to go abroad together, and that she’d always seen me as a friend, sob sob sob sob…”
* 哈工大 = 哈尔滨工业大学 = Harbin Institute of Technology (HIT) Z L T
Poor Lao Bi for being the fallback guy for that girl for five years unknowingly.
She didn’t know how to comfort him, so she changed a direction: “They are plenty more fish in the sea, what’s there to cry over, it’s just a girl. It’s hard finding a three-legged dinosaur but two-legged females are crawling all over, no? Lao Bi, you’re a full-blown manly bro, you can’t possibly be completely break down over a girl like her now can you?”
Lao Bi blew his nose: “You’re not the one who lost your partner.”
She could only sacrifice herself to comfort him: “Lao Bi, I’ll be frank with you, I just got dumped too honestly. The moment holiday rolled in, my boyfriend dumped me. I don’t even dare to go home now.”
Lao Bi’s attention was diverted as expected: “Really?”
“Why would I lie to you?” She lowered her head in pain, “that’s why I’m losing myself in WOW, it’s the same way you’re engrossed with CS.” That… wasn’t actually a lie though, right?
“You don’t look very sad though?” Lao Bi sized her down in suspicion. “And you’re hanging out with Qu Wei En quite a bit, you look like you’ve long forgotten about your ex no?”
She chanted mentally: people who got dumped is the king, people who got dumped is the king, don’t lower yourself to his standard…
“The fact that he’s dumped me to hook up with someone else tells me that he no longer liked me. Even if I cry the earth dead and look like a dumpster, what about it? People who don’t like me will continue not liking me. The fact that I’m in a messed up state will only garner their disdain even more. In contrast, our state will only worry our loved ones and friends, aren’t you placing those close to you in pain and the foes in happiness? I’m going to live better than him, find a more excellent guy than him so he knows what he’s lost! Right?”
Lao Bi wasn’t convinced: “It’s easy for you to say that; you’ve got all sorts of guys chasing you. You change a boyfriend every year. You don’t know what heartfelt love is.”
She silently wiped herself of her speechlessness. It did seem like her breakup this time didn’t bother her much. In comparison to the barely alive Lao Bi, she really didn’t look like she just got dumped. Perhaps it’s because… she didn’t like her boyfriend as deeply as Lao Bi liked the girl. ╮(╯_╰)╭
Giving people who had just got dumped guidance was something that required skill.
She choked up some words in difficulty: “Actually… I’ve only actually like one guy even though I change boyfriends a lot. All the boyfriends I had after him looked like him. I feel like I’m seeing his shadow every time I see them… pity all of them dumped me one after another. Even so, I still can’t help myself but look for people who look like him. Even if there are barely any similarities, I’d feel comforted…”
As she spoke, she felt her mood dampening as well. Z L T
“Didn’t know you’d be so infatuated,” Lao Bi stopped crying, “Wintermelon, honestly, even though Zhou’zi’s not bad, he’s still quite flowery when it comes to relationships. He won’t ever return to like you again, you better forget him.”
Bruh, which ear of yours heard me say Zhou Yuan Hang’s name gahhhhh!
However with a living example right in front of him, Lao Bi probably thought that An Si Dong was pretty pitiful after comparing Zhou Yuan Hang to the girl he liked. At realising that he wasn’t the only heatbroken one in this world, his mood immediately turned for the better.
He scrunched his hair, his swiping hand… was full of oil after running through his hair. “I, I’m going to the toilet to wash my face.”
“You still know you need to wash your face? Look at your dorm, I’d be praising you if I called this place a pig sty.” She took the chance to open the window to air the room.
At that, Lao Bi actually had the mood to joke: “Virtuous Wintermelon, if you really can’t stand it, wanna help us clean? You used to do that a lot last time didn’t you?”
The dorm was too unbearably dirty and untidy; the floor was full of tissues Lao Bi used to wipe his tears and blow his nose with, the bin was piled full with rubbish as well. Their room was literally the epitome of the word dirty; she was starting to suspect if the entire pile of rubbish in the bin would topple if she were to just add a strand of hair to the pile.
Not only did she poke at her old wound trying to comfort a heartbroken person, she became their free-of-charge cleaner as well, why was her life so hard. -_-|||
Qu Wei En’s bed and chair were strewn all over with clothes she couldn’t decipher if they’d been worn before or not; he even had a few more beside his computer. She piled his clothes into a mountain and pushed it to the end of his bed. When she was moving his clothes, she accidentally pushed over his pillow, and something flipped out from beneath the pillow—
A picture? EL IS HOSTED @ ZHANLAN TL
She picked up the picture to see. It was a very old picture with the sides curling from age. The edges were rubbed of colours as well. She could tell from the crisscrossing ridges of white that adorned the picture that it was often held in someone’s hands.
That wasn’t the main point, what’s important was that— Z L T
It was a picture of the four of the guys! Z L T
Uhmm!? EL IS HOSTED @ ZHANLAN TL
The four guys had their arms around each other, smiling beamingly, appearing a lot of vivacious than they were now. She recognised the background—it was the time when they’d just started year one and their class rep organised a class trip to hike Xishan. Everyone was full of energy to the extent all of them rode their bikes for three entire hours before they reached Xi Shan. After they hiked, they rode back on their bikes as well.
She distinctively remembered that particular autumn excursion because when she was hiking down the mountain, she accidentally sprained her ankles; she was piggy-backed down all the way by Qu Wei En—he was the bulkiest in the class so he was granted the laborious task.
That was the first time the three words Qu Wei En imprinted themselves in her head. There were more guys than girls in the class, and everyone was still not very familiar with each other. Before heading up, she only knew three people—her class rep, her club secretary and Zhou Yuan Hang.♢ ENDLESS LOVE, CHAPTER 04.1 is hosted at ZHAN LANN ♢
Probably because everyone was still young, she didn’t feel anything else other than gratitude when an unfamiliar guy carried her down all the way. Her classmates were worried about her injury as well so no one made any inappropriate jokes about it. Lying on his broad back, she remembered she fell asleep with the sway of his steps.
Qu Wei En was also the one who brought her back in their return trip. Zhou Yuan Hang rode his bicycle with a single hand, holding her small bike with his other hand, and rode behind them, chatting with her to distract her from her injury. He held her bike for three hours; when they reached their school, he couldn’t even lift his elbow. Perhaps that was when she started noticing Zhou Yuan Hang.
Returning to reality, she looked at the picture, frowning. She flipped it around, scrutinising the picture several times to confirm there were only the four guys; everyone else were unfamiliar people—the other hikers of Xishan.
Why would Qu Wei En place a group photo of his dorm mates under his pillow, and hold it in his hand to look at it so frequently?
Unless she really guessed it right and that he actually liked… one of the guys in the picture? Than wasn’t she becoming the cannonfodder female non-lead in a BL novel?
This realisation had her feeling… an emotion that was very hard to describe; it’s as though… she was suddenly struck by lightning when walking on the road in the broad daylight on a sunny day.
If she had to choose between “Qu Wei En likes An Si Dong” and “Qu Wei En likes guys”, she felt that the former was a less shocking choice. o(╯□╰)o
She’s definitely overthinking this, she’s definitely overthinking this, maybe it’s just that his bed’s too messy so the picture somehow found its way under his pillow, and he moved a lot when he slept so maybe it crumpled the picture.
“What’re you doing?” Qu Wei En entered, carrying the four bottles. When he saw the picture in her hand, he dashed over and snatched it back, “don’t touch my things!”
Qu Wei En classmate’s expression was as though… he was angry his little secret got exposed. His ears were red; that undoubtedly told that there was something more to the picture than she thought.
An Si Dong was very glum, very very glum, the indescribable kind of glum; she felt like just grabbing an assault rifle and killing off every living things before her.
Even when the two of them are back in front of the computer discussing about the coding, she was still very conflicted, and couldn’t help but secretly observe the Qu Classmate beside her. His hair was so rough, eyebrow so thick, his jawline so rigid, his muscles so buff; his masculinity was literally ablaze. He was full-out exuding an I’m-a-manly-man feel, how could he possibly be gay?
Life can’t be so cliche right, so stop overthinking, stop overthinking! Z L T
“Why are you staring at me?” Qu Wei En touched his own face, flushing. “Is my face dirty? Do I have rice on my face?”
She lowered her head glumly to look at the coding: “…you have a pimple on your face.”
“Oh, my skin’s not very good.” Classmate Qu was a little embarrassed, “I’m already washing my face very conscientiously though. I’d use soap every time but they’d still pop up every once in a while.”♢ ENDLESS LOVE, CHAPTER 04.1 is hosted at ZHAN LANN ♢
Who cares if its a pimple or tumour that grew on your face. She chopped him off: “Let’s continue reading the document.”
THIS TRANSLATION IS HOSTED AT ZHANLANN.COM
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TRANSLATOR & EDITOR: WYNNE. This translation is hosted at ZHANLANN.COM
T/N: long time no see, I gave in to procrastination (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) the chapters’ in parts now hopefully that will encourage me to TL me consistently (⊙v⊙) that aside, I think our little female lead is quite adorable hahaha
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